FowlKrietzsche
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Reviews 10
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Soundoffs 12
Album Ratings 2549
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Last Active 12-24-22 6:15 am
Joined 12-24-22

Review Comments 1,051

 Lists
06.07.24 Biblical Albums05.30.24 Steal These Albums!
05.25.24 A fowl assemblage of 101 death(ish) met05.21.24 I have no cred and am a complete poser
05.11.24 Fowl Work Playlist May '2405.06.24 A Fowl 25 GOAT Black Metal Albums
04.19.24 All Guitar Music Is BAD03.27.24 Redundigz
02.18.24 High on Listicles01.14.24 Menacing Music
12.21.23 Songs to pick your nose to12.17.23 8 Bad A7X Songs
12.04.23 Quick Digs05.11.23 Ranking the Slayer albums worth discuss

Biblical Albums

Filling out album w/ blurbs over time to maintain quality and hopefully not lose everything. This idea was shamelessly stolen from Sevengill, who described the first four Mastodon albums as Biblical which has really stuck with me as a description. Trying to really tie albums in with the themes of the books, as I remember from Sunday School; realizing most of this list will be metal because both the majority of the Bible and the majority of metal r crusty
1Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Genesis - The Hurrian Hymn no. 6

While the oldest musical instrument ever found is a whopping 60,000 years old, we can't know what was played on the neanderthal flute. We can, however, know what people in the 13th century, BCE played, thanks to Hurrian Hymn no. 6, a complete musical notation of a song played in ancient Ugarit. While hardly the genesis of music, neither is the Book of Genesis the genesis of cosmologies, plus this actually bangs check it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpxN2VXPMLc
2Iron Maiden
Powerslave


Exodus

And we're off! Both for albums and stories. While Genesis is mostly exposition and family drama, Exodus is a riveting adventure story and the subject of some of the most interesting archeology in the world. What really happened? Is the story really about the Hyskos Canaanites, who invaded Egypt centuries before Raamses II? Or is it about the oppression of Raamses, who the Israelites could not possibly have fled seeing as Egypt spread to Turkey during his reign. Similar questions surround Powerslave. How old is it? Did Iron Maiden actually write Rime of the Ancient Mariner??? The answers have, unfortunately, been lost to history...
3Ministry
AmeriKKKant


Leviticus

nononono, this isn't what the Bible is supposed to be. This is just boring and preachy and never-ending and really just a fucking buzzkill. After starting off remarkably strong, this holy book is starting to look like a holy booooore.
4Tiamat
Wildhoney


Numbers

Mmm, that's better! Rough around the edges, but full of meat and much easier to digest as a an exposition of living Israelite ideology. Definitely not something I'd engage on its own regularly, but cohesive and engaging enough if I'm stuck in a sermon or around an overeager metalhead
5David Bowie
Blackstar


Deuteronomy

I mean, its motherfucking Moses! You gotta represent the big man going out, hell you can even overrate him because he's that much of a legend. Sending off one of the coolest characters in mythology = sending off one of the coolest musicians ever.
6Current 93
All the Pretty Little Horses


Joshua

An album to commit genocide to for a book about genocide. I guess they both have the benefit of being compelling.
7Julius Fucik
Entry of the Gladiators / Thunder Blazese


Judges

What a horrifying book! Similarly, what a horrifying piece! Still, I don't think either Judges or Entry of the Gladiators is horrifying in quite the manner that the authors intended.
8Dolly Parton
Jolene


Ruth

Country never deserved Dolly like Christianity never deserved Ruth. A story of genuine kindness and humanity pitted against nature deserves an album of equal honesty. Dolly's yearning and Ruth's faith are cut from the same human canvas
9Miles Davis
Bitches Brew


1st & 2nd Samuel - Double book / double album rule

The Samuels are a staple; the amount of classic stories on display are unimaginable. Not knowing David and Goliath is the church camp equivalent of not having Bitches Brew rated a 4.5 or above. Either you already got it or you're a poser.
10Magma
Kobaïa


1st & 2nd Kings

Oh what a magnificent story of a rising star! Like the kingdoms of David and Solomon, early Magma were an undeniable FORCE! Fr this bangs.
11Dream Theater
Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence


1st & 2nd Chronicles

After chugging through the Kings, the eager reader hopes for something new to sink their teeth into beyond the constant lists of kings, their accomplishments, and relationships with God. Fortunately the Chronicles are the exact same books as Kings! Yay! Similarly, Dream Theater are impressive sometimes, but if you've been listening to Magma are you really gonna choose Dream Theater?
12Sopwith Camel
The Miraculous Hump Returns From The Moon


Ezra

This entry is all about comeback stories; the return from exile in Persia to Jerusalem and the return of psychedelic rock act Sopwith Camel share even more parallels than their triumphant, they were short lived victories each. An important lesson that triumph is fleeting and to never take your Second Temple period for granted.
13Bathory
Under the Sign of the Black Mark


Nehemiah

Ah, are there any better traits than honesty and work-ethic? Bathory would have gladly rebuilt the temple and they deserve representation for it.
14Crass
Penis Envy


Esther

The Persian King Ahasuerus asks his wife to dance naked for his friends, she says no, so he replaces her with a slave who can't say no, and because of this the slave can undermine a conspiracy against the slave populace. Fucked up story, listen to something clear and pissed while you think about it.
15Thou
Heathen


Job

Job is a relentless dirge of God's displeasure and human fragility, but really, could this be anything but Heathen? What other album could properly convey the utter Biblical horror of God's wrath directed on a single person?

This album and comparison inspired this list btw
16Marvin Gaye
What's Going On


Psalms

sputnikmusic.com -> Charts -> tags = soul / year = all time

ALL ENTRIES
17DJ Khaled
Suffering From Success


Proverbs

As it becomes increasingly likely that Christ will return to smite a world of sinners driving electric cars, it is time we recognize what we owe our excesses to, the Bible and particularly Proverbs. Oh you thought you could give religious advice to save money did you? Haven't you even read The Protestant Work Ethic by Max Weber? Much like Saint Khaled, Christianity is suffering from success, and that success begins in the practical advice of Proverbs and the fundamental good Christianity places on hoarding money. The Christian ideal is heavy bass in a Porsche.
18Blood Incantation
Timewave Zero


Ecclesiastes

I love philosophy, much like I love ambient. Patience is always rewarded by the most thoughtful intellectuals; mediocre intellectuals, however, leave me wanting. Similarly, mediocre ambient music just doesn't do much for me. Ecclesiastes lacks the pragmatic capability of Proverbs and the Attack of the Clones dialogue of Song of Solomon - its white noise between greats.
19Weezer
Pinkerton


Song of Solomon

An incel album for a Biblical book for incels, in the sense that, like Rivers, the author was born before the internet and could not idealize their virginity.
20Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Jeremiah
21Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Lamentations
22Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Ezekiel
23Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Daniel
24Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Hosea
25Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Joel
26Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Amos
27Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Obadiah
28Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Jonah
29Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Micah
30Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Nahum
31Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Habakkuk
32Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Zephaniah
33Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Haggai
34Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Zechariah
35Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Malachi
36Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Gospel of Matthew
37Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Gospel of Mark
38Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Gospel of Luke
39Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Gospel of John
40Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Acts
41Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Romans
42Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Galatians
43Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Ephesians
44Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Philippians
45Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Colossians
46Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


1st Thessalonians
47Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


2nd Thessalonians
48Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


1st & 2nd Timothy
49Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Titus
50Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Philemon
51Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Hebrews
52Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


James
53Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


1st and 2nd Peter
54Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


1st, 2nd, and 3rd John - Mandatory triple album representation uh ohhh
55Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Jude
56Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible


Revelation
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