Biblical Albums
Filling out album w/ blurbs over time to maintain quality and hopefully not lose everything. This idea was shamelessly stolen from Sevengill, who described the first four Mastodon albums as Biblical which has really stuck with me as a description. Trying to really tie albums in with the themes of the books, as I remember from Sunday School; realizing most of this list will be metal because both the majority of the Bible and the majority of metal r crusty |
1 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Genesis - The Hurrian Hymn no. 6
While the oldest musical instrument ever found is a whopping 60,000 years old, we can't know what was played on the neanderthal flute. We can, however, know what people in the 13th century, BCE played, thanks to Hurrian Hymn no. 6, a complete musical notation of a song played in ancient Ugarit. While hardly the genesis of music, neither is the Book of Genesis the genesis of cosmologies, plus this actually bangs check it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpxN2VXPMLc |
2 | | Iron Maiden Powerslave
Exodus
And we're off! Both for albums and stories. While Genesis is mostly exposition and family drama, Exodus is a riveting adventure story and the subject of some of the most interesting archeology in the world. What really happened? Is the story really about the Hyskos Canaanites, who invaded Egypt centuries before Raamses II? Or is it about the oppression of Raamses, who the Israelites could not possibly have fled seeing as Egypt spread to Turkey during his reign. Similar questions surround Powerslave. How old is it? Did Iron Maiden actually write Rime of the Ancient Mariner??? The answers have, unfortunately, been lost to history... |
3 | | Ministry AmeriKKKant
Leviticus
nononono, this isn't what the Bible is supposed to be. This is just boring and preachy and never-ending and really just a fucking buzzkill. After starting off remarkably strong, this holy book is starting to look like a holy booooore. |
4 | | Tiamat Wildhoney
Numbers
Mmm, that's better! Rough around the edges, but full of meat and much easier to digest as a an exposition of living Israelite ideology. Definitely not something I'd engage on its own regularly, but cohesive and engaging enough if I'm stuck in a sermon or around an overeager metalhead |
5 | | David Bowie Blackstar
Deuteronomy
I mean, its motherfucking Moses! You gotta represent the big man going out, hell you can even overrate him because he's that much of a legend. Sending off one of the coolest characters in mythology = sending off one of the coolest musicians ever. |
6 | | Current 93 All the Pretty Little Horses
Joshua
An album to commit genocide to for a book about genocide. I guess they both have the benefit of being compelling. |
7 | | Julius Fucik Entry of the Gladiators / Thunder Blazese
Judges
What a horrifying book! Similarly, what a horrifying piece! Still, I don't think either Judges or Entry of the Gladiators is horrifying in quite the manner that the authors intended. |
8 | | Dolly Parton Jolene
Ruth
Country never deserved Dolly like Christianity never deserved Ruth. A story of genuine kindness and humanity pitted against nature deserves an album of equal honesty. Dolly's yearning and Ruth's faith are cut from the same human canvas |
9 | | Miles Davis Bitches Brew
1st & 2nd Samuel - Double book / double album rule
The Samuels are a staple; the amount of classic stories on display are unimaginable. Not knowing David and Goliath is the church camp equivalent of not having Bitches Brew rated a 4.5 or above. Either you already got it or you're a poser. |
10 | | Magma Kobaïa
1st & 2nd Kings
Oh what a magnificent story of a rising star! Like the kingdoms of David and Solomon, early Magma were an undeniable FORCE! Fr this bangs. |
11 | | Dream Theater Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
1st & 2nd Chronicles
After chugging through the Kings, the eager reader hopes for something new to sink their teeth into beyond the constant lists of kings, their accomplishments, and relationships with God. Fortunately the Chronicles are the exact same books as Kings! Yay! Similarly, Dream Theater are impressive sometimes, but if you've been listening to Magma are you really gonna choose Dream Theater? |
12 | | Sopwith Camel The Miraculous Hump Returns From The Moon
Ezra
This entry is all about comeback stories; the return from exile in Persia to Jerusalem and the return of psychedelic rock act Sopwith Camel share even more parallels than their triumphant, they were short lived victories each. An important lesson that triumph is fleeting and to never take your Second Temple period for granted. |
13 | | Bathory Under the Sign of the Black Mark
Nehemiah
Ah, are there any better traits than honesty and work-ethic? Bathory would have gladly rebuilt the temple and they deserve representation for it. |
14 | | Crass Penis Envy
Esther
The Persian King Ahasuerus asks his wife to dance naked for his friends, she says no, so he replaces her with a slave who can't say no, and because of this the slave can undermine a conspiracy against the slave populace. Fucked up story, listen to something clear and pissed while you think about it. |
15 | | Thou Heathen
Job
Job is a relentless dirge of God's displeasure and human fragility, but really, could this be anything but Heathen? What other album could properly convey the utter Biblical horror of God's wrath directed on a single person?
This album and comparison inspired this list btw |
16 | | Marvin Gaye What's Going On
Psalms
sputnikmusic.com -> Charts -> tags = soul / year = all time
ALL ENTRIES |
17 | | DJ Khaled Suffering From Success
Proverbs
As it becomes increasingly likely that Christ will return to smite a world of sinners driving electric cars, it is time we recognize what we owe our excesses to, the Bible and particularly Proverbs. Oh you thought you could give religious advice to save money did you? Haven't you even read The Protestant Work Ethic by Max Weber? Much like Saint Khaled, Christianity is suffering from success, and that success begins in the practical advice of Proverbs and the fundamental good Christianity places on hoarding money. The Christian ideal is heavy bass in a Porsche. |
18 | | Blood Incantation Timewave Zero
Ecclesiastes
I love philosophy, much like I love ambient. Patience is always rewarded by the most thoughtful intellectuals; mediocre intellectuals, however, leave me wanting. Similarly, mediocre ambient music just doesn't do much for me. Ecclesiastes lacks the pragmatic capability of Proverbs and the Attack of the Clones dialogue of Song of Solomon - its white noise between greats. |
19 | | Weezer Pinkerton
Song of Solomon
An incel album for a Biblical book for incels, in the sense that, like Rivers, the author was born before the internet and could not idealize their virginity. |
20 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Jeremiah |
21 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Lamentations |
22 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Ezekiel |
23 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Daniel |
24 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Hosea |
25 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Joel |
26 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Amos |
27 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Obadiah |
28 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Jonah |
29 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Micah |
30 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Nahum |
31 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Habakkuk |
32 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Zephaniah |
33 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Haggai |
34 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Zechariah |
35 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Malachi |
36 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Gospel of Matthew |
37 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Gospel of Mark |
38 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Gospel of Luke |
39 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Gospel of John |
40 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Acts |
41 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Romans |
42 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Galatians |
43 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Ephesians |
44 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Philippians |
45 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Colossians |
46 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
1st Thessalonians |
47 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
2nd Thessalonians |
48 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
1st & 2nd Timothy |
49 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Titus |
50 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Philemon |
51 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Hebrews |
52 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
James |
53 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
1st and 2nd Peter |
54 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
1st, 2nd, and 3rd John - Mandatory triple album representation uh ohhh |
55 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Jude |
56 | | Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible
Revelation |
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